Valentine's Day

  

     Well, another Valentine's Day has gone by. Honestly, I have never really understood how we got from celebrating the life of a man who lived his life in Christlike manner became associated with a day in which we celebrate love and give each other chocolate. I mean yes I understand the significance of the letter he wrote and the bestowing of his sainthood by the Catholic Church. Basically, "the patron saint of love" replaced the Cupid and Aphrodite (Venus) as the symbol of love in the Western world. But it all seems a little silly to me.

"Don't make fun of my diaper! My dad is the god of War!"

     Since we are more or less stuck with this day of the celebration of love for rest of Western Civilization, I would like to talk about what it means to me. For most of my life, I have really hated this day. I am too one of those who have referred to V-Day as S.A.D. (Singles Awareness Day). I also resent that this day is so close to my birthday. After all, I have had some pretty horrible V-Days. One time in high school, I asked a girl out to prom by giving her a rose and stuffed animal. I got a maybe which turned into her never getting back to me. Another time in college, I received a Veggie Tales V-Day card you give to kids from a couple girls that I barely knew at my church (who were both in relationships) indicating that they wanted to give cards to everyone who they knew wouldn't get a card. Ouch! It is fair to point out that I was the only one to receive said condescending card. The only "good" V-Day in which I actually spent time with a woman who would tell me a few months later that I was nothing more than a spiritual and emotional distraction.

    However, recently I have come to realize that there can be a whole lot more to this day then just going on an expensive date. There is also no reason to worry if you don't have a "special someone" in your life. I mean do you have friends? Family? Take sometime to spend with your friends. I have known several guys who do a Brointines or Manintines. It usually consists of watching some manly movie with explosions and playing video games.  And I have known of several women who will get together to eat ice cream and watch girl movies (with Brad Pit, Channing Tatum, or whoever they're into these days??).  This Valentine's Day I hung out with my friend Matt who wife was working. We ate Mexican food, watched The Office, and talked about what is going on in our lives. And it was one of the best V-Days I ever had. I then had a conjoined birthday/Valentine's day party with some friends from church the next night where we ate mostly chocolate and played (and argued about the rules) for several games. So if you have friends and family, why not spend time with them on the day where we celebrate those we care about?

     Also, you can always spend time with someone who is completely lonely. This week some church friends and I went to an Alzheimer unit in a retirement home. Even though we were only there for an hour I could tell that these people appreciated people coming to them to sing hymn songs glorifying the Lord and play games. So, if you don't have a loved one, spend some time with someone who is extremely lonely like a widow or someone in a retirement home.

     And these are just some tips from someone who has been emotionally and verbally abused by those I have been in relationships and friendships with. I have also included advice on friendships:

1) If you are in a friendship and that person is using you for their own ends. If they are never there for you and don't want to be around you unless you can help them with something then get out of it because you are not in a friendship. You are being their servant.
2) Don't let anyone make you feel devalued because you don't fit their standard.
3) If someone is seeking to change your beliefs or you are hoping to change someone's beliefs then you need to get out of that relationship. Nothing can change a person other than God.
4) If someone is causing you emotional distress by something they said. Or pushing your spiritual or physical boundaries then you need reevaluate or get out of the relationship. If not your heart will only be in bad condition afterwards.
5) There is a healthy way of balancing pursuing God's will and a person in a dating relationship. If a person is never interested in talking about God then it will not be an edifying relationship. If a person is always wanting to talk about God and never about you, then you need to flee faster then a comic book nerd who has just watched Batman and Robin. As someone who has experienced the later let me tell you I am still getting over being spiritually damaged after coming out of that relationship.
6) If your interested in dating someone and they are not interested in you, get over them and move on. Ignore them. I have wasted years of my life being focused on a particular people. If they are not interested in you then they are not worth your time.
7) Pursue friends who accept and care for you. Surround yourself with people who will be there for you in the good and hard times.
8) Show the love of Christ with people always. The Lord will be glorified in how you treat people.
9) You never know how much time you have with someone. One of you may move or have something tragic happen. Spend as much time with the ones you care about while you can.
10) With modern technology we can communicate faster then ever before in human history. However, do something with your loved ones then send a Facebook message and text. Humans were designed to communicate like this. Use modern technology to FaceTime or Skype. Use it to call friends all over the world. Also, if you can just meet with someone face to face.

I hope you had a Happy Valentine's Day!