Robert Burgess: Origins

      So, it was suggested to me by my friend, Beth, that I put my testimony on this blog. I will try not to bore you with all the details of my life, so I will endeavor to inform you of the most important things. However, if you take Facebook breaks while reading this, I will understand.  I have been a member of the same church since I was very little. The name of the church is Bluff Park Baptist. I was baptized when I was six years old. Honestly, I do not think churches should allow children to become baptized at such a young age. At age six I had never sat through a sermon, ahad no concept of the the Trinity, and was unable to understand over ninety-five percent of the Bible. But I was absolutely convinced I was saved.  Don't get me wrong, I think children need religious instruction. I believe that it is the responsibility of the parents to walk their children through the Bible and explain that the purpose for our existence is to glorify God.  All I am saying is at age six I did not understand what it meant to be a Christian. All I remember was saying a prayer once. 

      Anyways, for the most of my upbringing I never read the Bible much. Don't get me wrong I was a good kid. I  never had sex, got drunk, looked at pornography,  or got addicted to drugs. I didn't do those things then, I still haven't done them now.  I always went to church. Although until I was ten I would either draw pictures or sleep during the sermon. I really wished someone had stopped me from doing that.

      I started to learn more about God as I got older. I had some really good youth ministers who seemed to care for me and made sure I understood the Bible. I came to church wanting to learn from them. However, none of the youth ministers stayed around for more than a year. There were periods from the time I was in middle school or high school when there simply was no youth minister. I found the other people in my youth ministry to be very discouraging. Very few of them seemed interested in learning about Christ. Many of them seemed as though they just wanted to come to church to play outside or flirt with one another.  The guys who went to the church frequently made fun of m since I was different from them.  I was different because I was not athletic and liked reading science fiction and comic books.  There was a core center in the youth group that made fun of other people.  Many of them cared nothing about learning the Word. In fact there were very few people in our youth ministry who did not end up on drugs, get pregnant, or leave the church completely. There were about a dozen of us in the youth ministry and less then five are serving the Lord now.

      In middle school I started developing depression.  There were many factors in me developing depression.  It was a combination of getting made fun of in P.E. for not being athletic, hating the way I looked, never having girls show a bit of interest in me, and feeling as though I was unintelligent.  The truth is that I am a very awkward person. Conversing with someone has always been difficult for me.  I have never been a master of words and may never be.  It has gotten a little easier now through practice. But I have to try much harder then other people. My time with depression was a time of sadness for me. I had even contemplated committing suicide. After months of therapy, I was able to put that part of my life behind me.  In those months I spent a lot of time with the Lord.  However, once I came through that my life returned to the way it had been.    

      When I was in high school, I still was not reading the Bible.  I read it every once in a while, but never read it on a regular basis. I still did not understand the magnitude of being a Christian. To me it was saying a prayer to God every night(in which I would just fall asleep while doing) and going to church a couple times a week. I just didn't get it at all.  I had a few friends at school, but not many of them were following Christ.

     Things really did not change for me until I went to college.  I went to a church within walking distance of my dorm. I went there every Sunday that I was in Tuscaloosa.  No one from that church really welcomed me in.  I still remember shaking the hand of the college minister every week. She never remembered me and would always introduce herself.  She never once invited me to check out the college ministry or Sunday school.  I went to that church the rest of my freshman year, because it was close to my dorm and I did not have a car.

     At the start of the next year I was eating at Burke Cafeteria and I saw some people I knew from high school. There names were Beth Lester(now known as Beth Fuller) and Laura Fewell. A guy named Russell Platt was also eating with them. I knew Beth and Laura, but not very well. I had an AP Music Theory class my junior year with Beth. I knew Laura a little bit, but I hadn't spent a lot of time with her in high school. I joined them for a little bit. They started talking about the church that they went to in Tuscaloosa.  The name of the church was First Baptist Church of Tuscaloosa. They talked about the things they were doing there and how much they liked the church. 

       The church in Tuscaloosa that I had been going to got a new pastor.  One week he compared spiritual gifts to having Jedi powers.  I thought that was a little weird, but I gave him another shot. The next week the preacher taught a sermon about how we need to make ourselves holy because we all have the power to control God. The preacher used Exodus 32: 7-14 to back up his sermon. In this passage Moses asks God to not to destroy the Jews when they were worshiping the Golden Calf. Moses pleaded for the people, but he did not control God. God is sovereign and is not dependent upon us.  I believe that the preacher completely misunderstood this passage.

           After this sermon, I left that church.  Later that week Beth sent me a message on Facebook to invite me to First Baptist. Through her I met many Christ following people. I got to meet a lot of Christian men that I could study the Bible with. I was able to cultivate friendships with men who were not following after the things of the World, but who were pursuing God.  This was significant since it was hard for me to cultivate friendships with guys since they were the ones who always made fun of me for not being athletic.  Tim Simpson, the college minister, is a very kind and welcoming person. I learned many things about the Bible. That year I began to start reading the Bible from cover to cover. It took me about a year, but I did it. I really think it is ridiculous for Christians to say they believe every word in the Bible, but never read it.  The Bible is at the top of the best seller list every year and yet so many people choose not to read it.

           During my second year of college, I started developing depression again. I did not want to commit suicide this time around. However, I did physically hurt myself quite a lot.  I did not damage my body long term, but I did hurt my self. It was a terrible time for me.  I really hated myself and wanted to strike back at myself.  During this time I felt the love of God. He was trying to release me from my burdens, but I just kept hating myself.  I went to therapy for a little bit, but I just did not click with my psychologist.  After time I
realized God was the only one who could heal me. God was the only one that I could find contentment in.

     Also, during that year I began to pray more to God. I realized that the Christian life was more than just sitting at church twice a week. I had been pretty good at doing what I was not suppose to do. However, I was not doing what I needed to do. I was not studying the Word.  I was not serving the Lord.  I was just sitting passive. I was not effective at all. I decided to make a change.  I decided that I would no longer be content to just sit in the pews.  I was determined to make an effort to know God and help others know Him.

       Now, I am a youth leader at Bluff Park Baptist.  I am serving with a young couple from the church named Chris and Libby Lee.  Also, my friend Daniel Fuller (Beth's husband) has been helping me out. He is a wonderful teacher of the Word. I am thankful for his friendship and his willingness to serve. My goal is to make sure that these kids know Christ.  It is hard a lot of the time, but it is rewarding to see them grow.  Even if that growth is minuscule.  By no means am I the best teacher.   Talking to a crowd or having a conversation is still hard for me.  I am still awkward and it is sometimes difficult for me to even make a phone call.  However, lately I have been starting to get over some of my issues with approaching people.  The Lord has made me a little better at conversation.  When I do teach, I do feel the Holy Spirit with me.  I may not ever be an eloquent preacher who is full of knowledge and charismatic stories. But I really don't have to be. All I need to do is preach the Word.

     So, this is where I am at now. Anybody is free to ask me questions or tell me what I am doing wrong.  Sorry this was a little long, but I hope it gives a little better of an idea of who I am.